you know you love me xX

I remember the first time you said you love me I waited all weekend you never called me.


Yeah I did remember the first time you said you love me. I thought you were joking. It was too soon. So I pretended that I didn’t hear it and moved on to the next topic of our conversation. I like moving on then.


My love grows, is yours gone?


It is such an indescribable feeling to wake up next to you. While you kiss me with your morning breath and then I tell you that it stinks. Suddenly you ran away, I got scared I hurt your ego, only to come back with your fresh minty breath mixed with your own scent. I remember waking up early then silently opening your laptop and eating my breakfast, which you bought for me the night before upon my request. I thought I was the better ninja but then I realize that you are already up while you watch me eat. And then I asked you why are you already awake and then you tell me the sweetest thing with your smirk and evil smile, that you woke up just so we can eat together. Do you remember the afternoons that we wait for “manong maith(s)” who had the speech defect with his letter “s”? We would laugh about it for good ten seconds but we would really laugh about it for three hours imitating his tone of calling out to his customers. I would never forget the shared lunches and dinners that are so repetitive that we exactly know what to order in the cheapest restaurants around because we are just puny little poor students still relying on our parents for allowance.


But what about closing time of the mall where we ran around to find dark shadows for stolen kisses that we try to hide from the security going for his rounds. Then after you’d walk me to my dormitory that hopefully I could sneak into since its passed time my curfew. That sometimes we used that excuse so I can sleepover at your dormitory. But most of the time we don’t. Did you remember the time when you washed my hair, which was all done up with all the bobby pins to hold it up? You took it out one by one until they all came out and my hair felt so soft again and I had a good night sleep after that.


And since we both don’t own any car, we take the public bus rides and train for transportation but did you know that I had motion sickness? But I don’t mind as long as it is with you I enjoyed every moment of it though it does not show. Hey you got to understand where I am coming from you know. Do you remember the Sundays we spent over coffee shops but we never had coffee since we don’t drink it I am not too sure if you drink it now. It’s been a year since I had spent it with you.


I remember the timeline you had for your thesis. We planned it together do you remember? I wrote for October : Time for E. It became my favorite month since then. You brave the storm with me figuratively and literally. You conquered the water from the block drainage system. You swear at the government with me because it sucks but then you realize you cannot do anything much about it except to go study and hope for the best for our future.


I miss the time when everything was a bitch all day but I look forward to the end of it because I know you were going to be there to comfort me, patiently sitting down while I rant all the nonsense of the world. I miss the time when you hold my hand when you know I pretend I am onto something else. I miss the time when you agree to walk with me for an hour to attend and watch an independent local movie in a film festival I am currently addicted to. You did not know it was the best two kilometres walk of my life. That even if it was raining and at the same time hot that day plus I wore the uncomfortable doll shoes to look cute I didn’t mind because I was with you. And that was all that mattered to me.


Maybe you didn’t know that while it appear that I am always annoyed and irritated, it is just my way to let you be closer to me. And that while I refuse to succumb to publicly showing my affection that is exactly what my body is doing with yours. You are connected to me much as I give credited you for.


This is the first time I felt strongly for another person and I don’t think I’ll ever will. So take care of my vulnerability. It rarely happens. There are so many memories that I refuse to forget and will never forget. Memories are the only things I have now and nobody can take it and even if they try to, they simply cant because they are ours. We own them. And hopefully soon we can make more.

2 thoughts on “you know you love me xX

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