Inspired by Edward and the Daily Post.
I had many crushes from when I was young until probably now. I remember having a crush from when I was in Day Care. I know, I started young. I do not really remember my Day Care Crush but I do remember having to peek into the windows of my nursery room from the outside just to see my Nursery Crush. Unfortunately, we did not belong to the same section. I was in the afternoon one, he goes to the morning one. But luckily, he became my partner in one of the processions we had for Mama Mary’s birthday celebration. I went to a Catholic School. Thank you God for this celebration. My Nursery Crush held my hand throughout the whole procession. I remember my hands were cold and sweaty but he held them just the same. It was a nice feeling the morning after.
I forgot about my Nursery Crush when I started Kindergarten because I met my Kindergarten Crush. My Nursery Crush also transferred schools so I did not get see him anymore. My Kindergarten Crush was a different one. He did not hold my hand. We did not share the same things as my Nursery Crush. My Kindergarten crush biked with me, played with me and ran with me. We were wild young kids roaming around inside the school. But the best part about my Kindergarten Crush was that I get to play with him even after school. We belong to the same section so after class, we will meet at the park and we will play there until sun set. Again, there were changes. I got transferred to the afternoon section and my Kindergarten Crush went to attend the morning one. We just fell apart because of our different schedules. But then I met my Grade School Crush.
My Grade School Crush was very troublesome in class. I always find him annoying. We got closer though because we had the same school service that drop us off home. We always go home together. Our school service always dropped him off first because his house was closer to the school. I was always dropped off last because my house was the farthest. But my Kindergarten Crush would always ask the driver to drop me off first before him. He did not say that he wanted to spend more time with me. His excuse was that he did not want to go home just yet so he wanted me to be dropped off first. I believed in his reason cause sometimes I felt the same. I just wanted to stay there with him before I go home. One day, he actually asked me if I like him because he likes me. Mind you, I was this tomboyish girl, awkward haircut, super dark skin but I had my winning smile. HAHAHA! I liked him then but I said nothing. I was dropped off at home and he called me when he reached home. We were in Grade 3, what was I supposed to say? After his confession which I kind of rejected, we did not talk anymore. He probably found a new crush and he became really mean to me until he finally transferred to another school.
My Pre-High School Crush was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. My Pre-High School Crush was not even that smart. I know because I sometimes get to check his exam papers when teachers ask me to help them. I was one of the achievers for crying out loud. I was almost Valedictorian. I remember being nervous when he talks to me. I remember being seatmates with him. I felt like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls. I would probably have all the feels in the world even he just asked me what day it was. Exactly like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls. That crush was so irrational it was embarrassing. His group of friends probably know and some of my girl friends actually found out about it or maybe I told them. It was very awkward. Looking back now, I’d probably be ashamed of myself.
During High School, I found out that I could have multiple crushes at the same time. I never thought I was allowed with more than one. So, I really had tons. And one of them is my husband now. I never thought that liking him will eventually lead to something so serious like marriage. Let me tell you about my favourite High School Crush.
He was just one of my many crushes in High School. He’s tall, fair-skinned and skinny. I like my boys skinny. I remember my first encounter with him during the week long celebration of the History Club in school. There was this relay I was participating in and he was a by stander. I told him to move out of the way because I wanted to win the relay and he was a big blockage. And then I remember becoming teammates with him during our school’s sports fest. I had other things in mind then like getting a medal for myself and for the blue team. I am not exactly salivating for his attention. But every time I watch his game, I can’t help but feel something fuzzy inside. Just like with every other crush I have. It was something special but not too special. And our last encounter during High School was during lunch time when he said “HI” from the 4th floor (he was there) while I was busy doing something on the 3rd floor. That was it. When I graduated from High School, I was so eager to go to College and find myself a College Crush.
Little did I know that he would be the person that I would want to spend my whole Saturday with. I finally understood what Tommy from Friends with Benefits had said:
“It’s not who you want to spend Friday night with, it’s who you want to spend all day Saturday with” (all Sunday too!)
That became him for me. And I had wanted to become that person for him too. He was all of my crushes rolled into one. He became my Nursery Crush when he held my hand the first time we went out for a movie date. My hands were cold and rough but he held them and never let go until the movie credits. He became my Kindergarten Crush and we had some major ice fight during midnight. It was something different. I remember after grabbing some dinner, we realized that I was out past my curfew so we had to wait until sun rise before I was let in my dormitory. He stayed with me all night at McDonald’s. He became my Grade School Crush when he would stay with me during our bus rides together going home on the weekends. He would stay with me until I get home even when his house was the first stop of the bus before mine. He would tell me he did not want to go home just yet and I felt the same. I wanted more time with him too. He also asked me if I like him but unlike my reply to my Grade School crush, this time, I said yes. And it was the best yes ever of my life. Though we know our feelings for each other, we still had a phase when he became like my pre- high school crush. There was this phase that was awkward and irrational. Every time we’d go out, I’d feel nervous. Automatically, I will have sweaty and cold hands. I feel ecstatic and crazy bouncy when I see his text messages. But like my grade school self, I did not know how to express my feelings well and that makes it awkward. I remember going out on secret dates because I was not kind of sure if he was okay with our relationship going public (or I was not sure if that was okay).
But unlike all my crushes which ended simply because he changed school or because he had a different schedule than mine or because he belonged to a different section or because he had found a new crush, with Edward, it became different. Because despite our different schools, our different schedules, our different countries and time zones, or even with a new crush, with Edward, it did not end because with him it was always a beautiful beginning. I might have had tons of crushes and will probably have more (I crush you Kim Soo Hyun) who will give me some unidentified fuzzy feeling, I wanted to say that this thing with Edward, I swear, this is not just some fuzzy feeling. This is infinite. So it’s not just Friday that I am in love, because it might be Saturday right now or even Sunday but I am still in love with you, Edward.
All week in love with you,