Way Up (In the Gardiner), I Feel Blessed.


Do you ever feel so blessed that you cry?

Lately I have been feeling not what you might call tears of joy but something more than that. Will I call it over gratefulness? Maybe, but there is not such a word. This year has been full of blessings but it is nothing short of something you would say as hardships as well. But such is life.

This year, I got a full time job. I got my citizenship, my husband, and our tiny human is on the way. But this year, my husband also had to start again from scratch. I had to move out and live away from my parents and have to prepare for another human being, which is the scariest thing so far in my life. I am not afraid of heights but a baby (oh boy), cannot imagine although I know it should be cute, regardless. Babies are cute. Period. But the most painful of all is that this year, my family lost someone really close to all of us. I lost the closest uncle I have ever had. He was my dad’s brother and almost a dad to me too. But let me refocus my writing. I want to share my blessings, in writing.

I feel so blessed I wanted you to feel blessed too. I don’t know how else to share it than by sharing my feelings. My feelings are irrelevant for most people but because I know these feelings are coming from the Grace of God, I wanted to tell you even when it does not matter.

Do you know when I feel blessed the most?

Every time my husband and I take the Gardiner Expressway.

If you live in Toronto, you would know that this highway is one of the most talked about highway because they don’t know what to do with it. Do they take it down and build another one? Do they keep it and fix the ageing highway? What do they do with it? Okay okay but my point is that it is my favorite highway.. AT NIGHT. When there is no congestion of cars.

When Edward and I take it on our way home from the East End, I would always look forward appreciating the 5 minute ride overlooking my city. We would be coming straight from DVP (my second favorite highway because it is a highway and a valley at the same time hehe). Then I am able to see the CN Tower. I would see the Rogers Centre and I would have the same feelings as that of the main character from Perks of Being a Wallflower when he felt that he was infinite. Remember the scene where they were under a tunnel bridge and he said “I swear in that moment we were infinite”. As for me, every time we drive through the Gardiner, my thought is pure and simple and I am sure it is a feeling coming from God. So whenever we take the Gardiner, I make sure to stick my head out even when it is not allowed and I fill my head with this very thought:

“In this moment, I swear, I am blessed”

I have a complete family. I live in one of the most liveable city in the world. I pay taxes but I get something out of it. I get to vote and make my decision matter to the world. I have a God and so far we have a stable relationship. I am having an additon to a family and I am part of the  co- creation. I have a job where the opportunity is at par with what I had planned for my career. I have a husband, whom although I constantly love to argue with, surprisingly loves to make me happy, works hard and wants only the best for our family. If these are not all from the Grace of God then where else are these coming from? We have to see it. We have to feel it. And most of all, we have to be grateful about it. Be too grateful about it.

We are blessed.

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