There are so many things people say about pregnancy. It is one thing to talk about it and it is another being one. I had been one and let me tell you about it.
You don’t always get offered a seat
I take the subway going to work while pregnant. I worked until 7 days before my due date. And this was my experience on the subway: I did not get offered a seat until I was into my 7-8 months. I was thinking maybe I was not showing until then. In a way, that was understandable. In fact, I think that was considerate since you do not want to offer someone who was not actually pregnant a seat. But even when I was almost giving birth (9 months), not all people would be giving up their seat for me. And the only people who actually gave up theirs? Women — Women with kids or older women. I am not being sexist here. But for the love of the world, why would men not give up their seat? I tried to reason that I should not judge them but I was not sure their reason why. The most annoying thing was they look you straight in the eye and then pretend to sleep, to look somewhere else or to look at their phones. This made everything more awkward than it already was. I was not generalizing but this was based from my experience. The only time I got offered a seat by a male passenger was below five times in the entirety of my pregnancy. Yes, I counted so I can blog about it.
For me, not being offered a seat was fine. I did not experience a high risk pregnancy. I did not have severe back, hip, pelvic, or leg pains. But I was thinking of other pregnant women out there who had it hard. What if she did not have a choice so she had to take the subway and she ended up standing from East to West or whatever her commute was. Whoever you are with a seat, be considerate. Offer the seat to the designated people who are supposed to have it in the first place. Show some compassion. Think about your mothers.
You can get the glow
I expected early on during my pregnancy that I will not get the “glow”. I saw some celebrities who were so beautiful before and after they were pregnant but not while they were. So I had braced myself that I, a commoner, would get all kinds of ugly during my pregnancy. In our culture, they say when you are having a boy, it drains your beauty. So you get darkened armpits, neck, etc. But when you are having a girl, the baby shares with you the glow. I learned too that in some other cultures, this notion is the exact opposite. I believed in these things. I did not know what I was having until the 5th month.
I had a boy but people say I got the glow. I am not sure about the glow or if I am just lucky during my pregnancy but this is what happened. My skin cleared up. I did not have to wear any make up during my pregnancy because I did not have any blemishes to hide. I did not have darkened anything. I did not have stretch marks (maybe this is because I started Bio Oil + lotion early on every other day). I did not swell but I got fat. HAHA! I did not have any additional hair anywhere than I already have. I did not have the black line in the belly women get when pregnant. So if that is the glow then maybe I had it. I think the glow was partly because I was taking care of myself more. I eat right on most days and I sleep the right amount of hours too. Those are the keys! This was me when I was 7 1/2 months:
I gained a pound each week since getting pregnant. In total I gained 40 lbs. Yes, 40 lbs! I did not have any special cravings in particular but I had to eat properly. I ate when I was hungry and I did not have any special diet. I had my cheat days like a regular non pregnant woman. My favorite day was Saturday because I get to drive to my mom’s and eat all the junk! Don’t tell Edward that but I guess that made Elon happy. I will eat ice cream. Drink pop. Eat chocolate. All that they say is bad for pregnant women. But heck let me eat what I want. I have another being inside of me.
During the weekdays, at work, were when I get to eat “healthily”. I drank the right amount of fluids, maybe more. No pop. Fruits as snacks and there’s always vegetables for lunch. I ate better during the first few months and binge on the last trimester. Maybe that was the reason I gained more lbs on those months. Most probably. The good thing was, although I did indulge in sugar, I did not have gestational diabetes. I thank my parents’ genes for that. Gaining weight should be expected for pregnant women. If you gained little, none (unlikely!), or a lot while you were pregnant, you have post pregnancy to lose it all. I have 10 more lbs to lose to get back to my pre pregnancy weight just after a month. You will lose it! Believe me! What should matter is to keep yourself healthy so the baby is also healthy. Health is essential!
You will be told what to eat/ what to do/not to do
There were many unsolicited advice while I was pregnant. They will tell me what to eat, what not to eat, what I can do and what I should not. This was okay and good if the person advising me was pregnant before. But girl it is annoying when you even have not been pregnant before and you felt like an opinion leader in this matter. Save it. I don’t want it please. But I know some things are common sense even without the advices.
Things people have told me:
On my 9th month: Do not eat that cake, baby will get super big
While it is true that sugar contributes to baby’s rapid gaining of weight, I am sure that a slice of cake on my 9th month won’t make my baby 10 lbs! I ate it and more. Baby’s weight was 6lbs.
On my 5th month: Do not sleep on your belly baby will get deformed
And I thought, babies have protection inside my belly right? Don’t they have the amniotic fluid or something? I slept soundly on my belly until I actually showed (my belly got bigger) which was by 7-8 months. My baby is not deformed in any way. He’s totally fine:
When I actually showed, which was by 7-8 months, I changed from sleeping on my belly to sleeping flat on my back. This was the most comfortable for me. I asked the doctor about this issue and he said that my body would tell me if it is not safe. I have tried to sleep on my side at the start of the night but I always wake up laying on my back. Baby is still breathing as we speak.
Some things that I followed just because I felt they made sense:
Avoid eating raw food
Bacteria have more chances of surviving in the cold I guess. So although I have craved sushi one time during the whole nine months, I stopped myself. And although my regular snack was ham and cheese, I stayed away from the frozen ham and switched it to fruits instead.
Do not lift heavy things
Makes sense!! Baby is in my uterus which is inside my body. If I carry heavy stuff and put pressure on it, won’t it have a chance of falling down? I don’t want the baby falling down when it was not yet the time. Carrying and lifting seem to be an obvious NO NO during pregnancy.
I listen to my doctor. He is the specialist. Everything else for me is here say. I find that it is also true that your body will tell you if something is okay or not. Listen to it.
You will be told how small/big you are
Some people are plain insensitive. Even when I was told I was small for a pregnant woman, it was not flattery that I felt but more of a worry. I became anxious that my baby was not growing well because my belly, as they said, was small. I was lucky to have someone from our team, who was pregnant as well, remind me that every body is different. We were always compared, even on the subway, when she would get offered a seat and I would not. She felt bad that she would get a seat and I won’t while we were on the same month of pregnancy. But it was her second child. They say when it is your second, you show more than when you were carrying your first. I showed 7-8 months while she showed 3-4 months.
Just a tip: Never make a comment about a pregnant woman’s body. No matter how flattering you think it is, she might think otherwise.
There will be the insensitives. There will be people who knows too much. But I say, it is you in that situation. Make something happen if it is not happening – like not being offered a seat. You know you. Listen to you and do you. Being pregnant can be overwhelming but it can also be a beautiful thing. Don’t stress it. Enjoy every moment of it before it’s over.