Although taking care of you is sometimes challenging (not hard!), my love always outweighs it all.
When I sleep at night, I always remember to pray because I have to ask God to keep you away from SID. I also re-watch your videos from my phone and Snapchat. And I also look at all your pictures from my phone. You are an addiction.
You have only seen this world for 5 months but I can’t imagine living the rest of it not knowing and meeting you.
I wish I can say more but sometimes, like today, you just cried and it seems that there was no way of soothing you. What are you feeling exactly? Are you hungry? Tired? Is your diaper wet? Are you hot? Cold? I almost wanted a time out of parenting. I wanted to let you cry so you can sleep from exhaustion. I wanted to get out of the house and come back tomorrow.
Now you stopped. I have to thank my sister for that. I had a break. And now I am writing this post. Now I am feeling slightly okay because I know that this is only one of your phases. It will pass. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow might be better or worse but we will be together for a looooong time (until of course you started walking, then pre-school, then elementary, then dating, then moving out.. Oh gosh, getting ahead of myself here). Neither of us can do anything about it because I am your mother. And you are my son.
Baby, you know I will love you until the end of my time through your dramas, tantrums, and the hardest of all, your refusal to nurse. Love you, Elon.
Written yesterday, 20th of April 2016, at 5ish in the evening. Elon is better today, 21st of April. Haha