I have always been a worrier.
When I was younger, I would worry for days before the school announces the list of achievers. I had to be at least in the top 3 of my class. I would worry about getting A’s instead of B’s. I would push myself to compete with boys in PE because I wanted to be the best and would worry if I am not. I would compare myself with others and would be so disappointed when I am not one of the best at some things. I like being good in whatever I am doing and I like validations.
I have toned these things down when I came to Toronto and realized that I am just a tiny speck in this big planet and that my worries do not really matter. But when I became a mother, naturally, my worries started again with Elon.
Is Elon developing okay? Is he eating the right type of food? Is his poop normal? Is his head supposed to be this big? Is he a late crawler? Oh my god he is not even rolling over yet and he is 6 months already. What is going on? Why does not he know colours? Why does he say so little? I don’t understand his words. Is he colour blind?
I would always compare him with others not thinking about how Elon would feel if he actually understands his mother’s worries. What I failed to see is all his achievements and strong points.
He is a very active boy. His gross motor skills is at par with kids older than his age group. He walked at 9th going to his 10th month. He plays well with other kids. He shares with other kids. He is fearless and not afraid to try again when he fails. He is strong and independent. And he definitely knows what he likes and doesn’t like.
But what I wanted to share with you is the story tonight:
I started teaching Elon how to pray. So we started praying Angel of God together before going to bed. Tonight, as I finished reciting the prayer and was about to wrap it up, Elon just said “I love you Jesus”. The I love you Jesus was said, without being prodded to, by a 2 year old. This made my heart so happy. I mentioned this phrase to him not a lot of times and yet he learned it. He said it without me telling him to. I was proud at that moment so obviously he was smothered by a lot of kisses.
Now why would I worry when obviously God is in charge? Even Elon knows it in his tiny heart. I love you Jesus! And I don’t care if Elon only knows the colour Yellow.